Signs you might be overfunctioning
When I discovered this term a few years ago, I was convinced it was written about me. At first, I was embarrassed but eventually found comfort in knowing how common it is, especially with women, moms, and firstborns.
As a recovering overfunctioner (it’s a work in progress!), I can now recognize signs of it sooner to shift my behaviors.
What does it mean to overfunction?
It’s when you’re constantly taking on too much and trying to fix or control things. You see yourself as the solution to most issues and believe that unless you step in, no one else will and things will fall apart. Overfunctioners appear helpful. They ask for additional projects, step in to help when colleagues are struggling, or offer to take on extra tasks in and outside of work, even though they’re booked solid.
Signs you are overfunctioning:
Taking on the emotions of your manager and team
Overly giving of your time
Inability to ask for help as it will make you seem incompetent
Not able to relax because you need to constantly get things done
Feeling like a failure if anything is short of perfection
Overfunctioners vs. underfunctioners
Overfunctioners do things for others that they can actually do for themselves, diminishing the other person’s abilities. This creates situations where others might underfunction because 1) there’s no room for them to step in or 2) those who generally underfunction will learn to heavily rely on overfunctioners. Some examples of this:
Pulling data for when others can look it up themselves
Doing menial tasks when they can be delegated to others
Sending constant reminders rather than letting people self-manage
Ways to stop
You might feel generous, but you’re doing a disservice to everyone. Overextending and not allowing others to help will result in burnout. Stopping will not happen overnight and might take years of unlearning but it’s worth it to protect your wellbeing. Here are ways to address it:
Be present and notice your patterns. What parts of your life are you taking on more than your fair share of responsibilities? Look into those areas. There might be some resentment that’s motivating the overfunctioing behaviors. In which case, you can start to address where the resentment is coming from and change your course to address that emotion.
Define your new work style. You probably have already set a precedent at work that you are a “yes” person, that people can take advantage of your time. Work dynamics can always be changed so define a new set of rules for yourself.
Clearly communicate your boundaries. Once you’ve clearly defined how you would ideally work, find ways to clearly communicate your boundaries to your boss and team. And it’s important to stick to it! Otherwise, people will slowly learn that you can be swayed back to your old ways.
Get comfortable asking for help. Learn to delegate and take a step back. Be okay with letting go. Let others resolve problems, do things differently, or make mistakes. This will relieve you of being overwhelmed with tasks and will empower others to step up.
I have definitely seen a huge improvement over the past few years, in my mental health and productivity by taking a few steps back and leaving room for some uncertainty.
