Self promotion is not annoying. It’s a tool.

I struggled with not being able to talk about myself for years. It felt arrogant and cringy. Even now, I’ll still hear a little voice at times, questioning whether I’m being annoying by promoting my business.

Growing up in an immigrant Chinese household, I was taught humility and that if I worked hard enough, I would get noticed. Bragging was frowned upon. These cultural teachings worked fine in the community, but not in the workplace. 

And as a woman, generally speaking, we tend to feel more comfortable talking about our personal interests than our professional successes. Men generally feel the opposite. 

When done tactfully, self promotion not only helps you, it can also benefit others. Here are some things to consider. 

Always provide value. 

Bragging, in a pretentious way, is talking about yourself to make others feel inferior. Self promotion is sharing information that allows others to see how you can help them. 

In an interview, you could talk endlessly about how great you are and why you’re better than other candidates. Or, you could share concrete examples of your work and connect that to exactly how you could help solve specific challenges of the company in order to grow the business. 

Foster your community.

What’s more powerful than self promotion is when someone else can speak positively about you. Word of mouth has always been the strongest form of advertising.

Think about who these people are – friends, colleagues, people in your network. Invest energy into fostering these relationships. Show appreciation. Return the favor. It’s equally as important to think about who these people are not. I definitely have had the wrong read with certain people I thought were allies when in reality, they were not.  

Get out of your head. 

Self doubt, imposter syndrome, fear of rejection, worrying about what others think. All of these feelings live inside our heads and can be debilitating to our confidence. 

Stop focusing your energy in believing that others are judging you and that you’re not good enough. It takes the same amount of energy to try and get out of your head and reframe the above. 

Next time you are getting to self-promote, stop feeling guilty about it. People want a reason to connect with you – to bring you on to their team, to buy your services, to learn from you, to brag about you.