4 signs you’re underselling yourself at work
Whether it’s the way you were brought up as a person of color, as an immigrant descendant or because women tend to overthink more than men do, you might be selling yourself short at work. Here are some signs and what to do instead.
1. You are uncomfortable with praise. When someone praises you, you praise them back or find ways to change the topic. It makes you uncomfortable to be in the spotlight and it feels like you’re being boastful. Being humble is an important tenet in many Asian cultures (e.g., Chinese Confucius and Buddhist teachings) so accepting praise can come off as being too prideful. Because there is emphasis on reciprocity, a compliment is followed with a compliment in return rather than acknowledgement. This ‘polite’ behavior might work in traditional Asian communities but won’t take you far in the western workplace. Denying praise might signal to someone that the invitation for further praise is closed off which could limit your opportunities. Instead, say thank you and try to feel good about it.
2. You understate your achievements. You don’t own up to your efforts and hope that your resume speaks for you because you don’t like bragging. During interviews or meetings, you prefer to deflect so that the other person does more of the talking. Speaking from the Chinese-American experience, understating your efforts might come from internalized self pride and being taught from a young age to be polite. When you downplay how much time or energy it takes to complete something, not only are you short-changing yourself, you end up setting unrealistic expectations for how quickly you can get things done. Instead, share facts, data and details on your work and experience which makes you informative and knowledgeable. You can be confident without being a show-off.
3. You don’t value your abilities and successes. You compare yourself to others and get frustrated with the choices you’ve made. It’s common for women to self doubt and overthink. It’s very common for people of color or immigrant descendants to compare themselves to their more privileged peers. The next time you’re wondering why your upper or upper-middle class white colleagues who are younger than you are advancing quicker than you, remember that they come from backgrounds with generations of resources that have prepared them from the very beginning. Instead, learn to embrace your own unique set of experiences, talents and insights and go seek out a company or manager who values that.
4. You deny new and exciting opportunities. You are afraid of rejection or failure so instead of putting yourself out there, you stick with what you are comfortable with even if you are unhappy. And though you’re ready to level-up in your career, you’d rather apply for jobs that are at similar levels to your current role because those are easier to land. It’s less frightening to deal with being miserable than to face the unknown. Instead, try something that does not make you 100% comfortable as it’s the only way to grow. And if you do end up getting rejected, getting a no is powerful than never knowing because you can learn from it.
All of this comes from a place of not fully believing in yourself, with an overemphasis on other people’s successes. Remember that everyone is a work in progress, including the people you look up to the most. And if you identify as a woman, a person of color or a 1st or 2nd generation immigrant descendent, the workplace system (alongside many other systems in this country) was not built with your success in mind, so give yourself a break. Given everything, you’re doing pretty damn good.
